


Eggplant Soup

by Angelchexmex



Series: The Care and Maintenance of a Konoha Ninja [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Curses, Cute, Fluff, Gen, Late Night Conversations, Literal Sleeping Together, Love Confessions, Mischief, Platonic Life Partners, Platonic Relationships, Sharing a Bed, Soup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-20 21:32:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16563518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelchexmex/pseuds/Angelchexmex
Summary: Zabuza has been living in Konoha for a while and, grudgingly, accepted having to live with Hatake as a safety measure, for Konoha that is.What he did not accept was waking up to Hatake in his bed. He had not signed up for this at all.





	Eggplant Soup

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wecantgiggleitsacrimescene](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wecantgiggleitsacrimescene/gifts).



> This work was inspired by Wecantgiggleitsacrimescene.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it because I think I'm in love with these two being platonic life partners??? It's perfect!
> 
> Please comment and let me know what you think, I'm thinking of making this a series.

"What are you doing?" Zabuza asked in his best polite voice, which was not very polite at all, as he study the Hatake sized lump that was now lying next to him in bed. 

"Keeping an eye on you," came Hatake's muffled reply from under the covers of what should have been Zabuza's bed. 

Zabuza had, in his opinion, gracefully accepted being forced to live with the dog bastard as a condition of being allowed to live in Konoha, but he had not signed up for what ever the fuck this was. "And you can't do that from your own room, as you've done every other night?" Zabuza asked pointedly.

"No," Hatake replied an Zabuza fought the completely rational urge to fucking behead the little shit with a swing of his blade. Instead, and with a great show of restraint, Zabuza let out a great woosh of air and layed back down.

They stayed quiet for a while, Zabuza waiting for something to happen and Hatake...well who the fuck knew what Hatake was doing. Who the fuck ever knew what he was doing.

"So," Zabuza began after a while because there was no fucking way he was going to be able to sleep with another, potentially dangerous, shinobi in his bed, "what brought about this...change?"

Being in Konoha had made Zabuza drastically politer, if only to stop having weapons pulled on him and keep Haku from frowning reprovingly. Honestly, that little brat had taken to Konoha like a duck to water and was happily living with...fuck what was his name? Some bushy browed idiot with too much green and too little common sense.

"You made eggplant soup," Hatake finally stated, popping his head above the covers and putting has face way too close to Zabuza's for comfort. 

"You think I can't fucking cook? I'm a grown ass adult!" Zabuza snapped, baring his sharp teeth at his absolutely unimpressed bedmate.

"You made eggplant soup," Hatake stated again, very calmly and as if this was supposed to mean something grand and complicated.

"And you ate eggplant soup," Zabuza agreed, his tone still annoyed but fully knowing that he'd have to play out whatever crazy Hatake had planned. Fucking Konoha ninjas.

"You," Hatake began again, and fuck if he said the same fucking thing again Zabuza was going to punch the bastard, "made me eggplant soup."

"I've made you food before," Zabuza replied, because if this was specifically eggplant soup then fuck if Zabuza would ever be making it again. He'd been trying to be fucking nice for once, as Haku had been encouraging him to do, and had made the dish because Hatake had mentioned it being his favourite once and Zabuza was rather find of eggplant himself. And look where that goddamned kindness had gotten him, stuck in bed with a lunatic. He was never listening to Haku's advice again.

"But you've never made eggplant soup before," Hatake replied, one eye wide open and sincere and the other...uncovered but unopen. How the fuck had Zabuza not noticed that? Hatake never went around without both his mask and hitai-ate on. Thank shit he still had the mask on or Zabuza really would have had a heart attack.

"And I never will again if it leads to this," Zabuza replied because fuck, he'd thought the two of them were getting along before. He'd even come to like the last Hatake, almost viewed him as some sort of crazed but useful pet.

"Yes you will," Hatake replied with absolute conviction, tugging at one of Zabuza's pillows until he successfully stole it away and used it as his own.

"Says fucking who?" Zabuza snapped, even more frustrated when Hatake fucking rolled over and away from him. What kind of literal crazed jackass was he rooming with?

"Pack always does things for pack," Hatake replied, already sounding half asleep.

"And I'm pack?" Zabuza snorted incredulously. Because seriously what the fuck? He was a known criminal, the Demon of the Bloody Mist, he was not a part of some lonely old ninja's pack.

"You know my favourite foods, you train with me, you go on missions as my backup, and you live with me." Hatake layed out very logically, except logic made sense and Zabuza had no idea what was fucking going on, "so you're pack and pack sleeps together. Pakkun said so."

Zabuza had met Pakkun before, he'd found himself fond of the little pug, it was really too bad that he was going to have to kill him now. "And I don't get any say in this," Zabuza questioned.

"You made me eggplant soup," Kakashi replied, because honestly at this point Zabuza was apparently going to sleep in the same bed as the man and they were, supposedly, pack so fuck using his last name.

"Never going to fucking do that again," Zabuza grumbled, but there wasn't a lot of heat in it any more and he'd stopped protesting. Honestly, this rather felt like the kind of logic and tactics Haku had once used on him, and he'd fallen for it then too. "Fucking nut cases," Zabuza snarled at no one, because goddamned Kakashi was already asleep.

Giving up, because contrary to common belief Zabuza did know when he'd been beat, Zabuza rolled over ready to go to sleep.

"Goodnight, love you," except apparently fucking not because what the fuck was that supposed to mean and why the fuck wasn't he asleep.

"Excuse me?" Zabuza asked, not moving and voice carefully calm and nuetral. Because he had misheard that right? Hatake fucking Kakashi, Sharingan goddamn Kakashi, the mother fucking Copy Cat Ninja had not just said what he thought.

"What?" Hatake asked, because fuck it he was back to last name basis.

"I misheard you," Zabuza stated, still in his carefully calm voice.

"I said goodnight," oh thank fuck it hadn't been- "I love you." Haha, oh shit it had been what Zabuza thought.

"Alright that's fucking it," Zabuza SAT up and yanked the covers off of Hatake who turned to him with a surprised and confused expression, a distinctly fake surprised and confused expression.

"You're fucking with me," Zabuza realised, relief sweeping through him. This, at least, made sense.

"A little bit," Hatake admitted, sitting up himself. "You are pack and I did realise that tonight when you made me eggplant soup and I do love you. But," Hatake added before Zabuza could form some kind of protest, "I am not in love with you." He said it like there was some kind of great difference between those two things.

"Explain," Zabuza ordered, harshly.

"You're pack, family," Hatake began slowly, although there was amusement in his open eye meaning he was fucking enjoying confusing Zabuza, "which means I love you. But I'm not in love with you meaning you're not a mate or potential mate." 

"So I'm family," Zabuza began, "but you don't want to fuck me."

"Is that really so hard to understand?" Kakashi asked, because alright this was a weird sweet, if confusing, moment and Zabuza felt fucking bad calling Kakashi by his last name. Haku really did have way too much influence on him.

"No," Zabuza admitted, because he preferred platonic partners, or at least the idea of them. He'd never really been given the option okay? He just knew that he'd never fallen in love with anyone and even the thought was foreign and disturbing. "It's just different," Zabuza finished, because fuck if he was going to admit that he liked living with Kakashi and he liked cooking for the other man and he might, just maybe, think of Kakashi like family too.

"Bad different?" Kakashi asked, and holy shit were they really doing this like goddamned teenagers?

Except, Zabuza found himself responding with, "Good different," like a fucking dumbass in a soap opera or some shit.

It was, however, apparently enough and Kakashi turned over to go back to sleep, stealing back the blankets as he went. Right, guess that was that then. 

Zabuza rolled over himself, staring into the darkness for ages after that. Warring internally over what few emotions he still had but always coming back to the same thing. A weirdly warm fuzzy feeling and a sense of what the fuck.

If he then started making eggplant soup twice a month and never argued again about sharing a bed, well no one had to know.

Until fucking Haku found out of course, and then everyone had to know.

Fucking Konoha.


End file.
